How to Control Worry

How often have we heard someone say: "Don't worry," when we have been under the pressure of tension and stress, and thought to ourselves that if it were only possible to take this advice our problems would indeed be lessened. 

Many who have studied in the fields of psychosomatic medicine have come to the conclusion that worry has a specific effect upon the physical body and to tell a person who is worried not to worry is simply giving advice for want of something better to say. Worry is a complex mental condition, and some temperaments suffer from it more than others. Extroverts tend not to worry that much, but it is the introverts who tend to internalize everything and then mull over it that sets up the climate for worry.  Once the worrying thought has occurred, it can be extremely difficult not to give it attention. 

Affirmations will not cause that worrying thought to lose its potency, because, with most people who worry, the mind simply reverts back to the problem once the affirmation is no longer chanted, although it does depend on how deep seated the problem really is. It is believed by many authorities that worry may actually contribute to physical changes in the body.  Some authorities argue that this theory is not true; but most people have had the experience of fatigue and disagreeable physical conditions resulting from worry. 

Worry is the mind's attempt to cope with a situation for which there appears to be no immediate solution.  It is an emotional response in the intermediate state between the realization of a problem and its solution. If we could all live free of re­strictions without problems, there would not be any worry.  Our wor­ries would be lessened considerably if we did not have matters of personal health, economic conditions or personal relationships with which to deal. 

There is a degree of good in the advice, however, on the part of the concerned person who says, "Don't worry.” Let’s consider a few points that may help each individual to learn to control worry. Even if we can’t solve all our problems immediately, we should, at least, learn to cope with the matters that come before us and cause us worry. 

If we begin to notice our train of thoughts and our emotional responses to those thoughts, we may begin to develop our habit patterns properly, we may be able to develop the ability of not letting worry get to the point of causing a condition detrimental to our health. Usually, it is the problem that appears to be unfathomable that is the one that needs the most attention and consequently tends to cause us worry. Therefore, being pro-active and learning to deal with our problems is one step toward the control of worry. Some people believe that the person who is worrying is simply carrying the worry in their own mind.  But usually the problem, initially anyway, has a physical actuality. So, to ignore worry is not to con­trol it, because until there is a resolution to the problem, the worry will remain.  

Therefore, the first thing that needs to be done with wor­ry about a problem is to acknowledge its physical actuality and then deal with it as a physical condition and not as an imaginative one within our minds. 

The second point that needs to be considered involves not passing the problem, or the blame for the problem, on to someone else. If you state that your problems are caused by another, then you are admitting that the other person is controlling your life, and that you are experiencing victim consciousness.  If you blame someone else for your problems, you are simply trying to put the responsibility for your life onto the other person, and not taking responsibility for it yourself.  Admittedly, there are times when you are restricted and when you are definitely affected by other people and conditions over which you have no control; but your problems are part of your own experience, they are part of a life lesson that you are trying to resolve, and it is best to acknowledge them as such in the first place. If you can do this, much self growth can occur. 

The third point is to realize that there are people all over the world who have problems also and al­most everyone at some time or another worries; but, at the same time, the fact that other people worry does not solve your problem or keep you from worrying. If you can acknowledge the fact that worry is a common trait among most individuals, it will help you to accept another phase of your experi­ence, albeit an unpleasant one. 

If you have given earnest consideration to the problem and find that you can’t reach a solution, the fourth point is to seek professional advice. Advice can usually open up a whole new perspective upon the problem and help you to cope with the situation if you are incapable of dealing with it yourself. It may be that the advice will give you the knowledge to bring the situation to a satisfactory con­clusion.

A fifth consideration is to take a look at your goals and purposes in life. If your prob­lem is one concerning a relationship, and you are not making any headway in solving the problem, possibly your goals concerning your relationship are not in harmony with one another. Most people do not have the perfect relationship; relationships are like anything else, they need to be worked at to bring out the best that each can contribute to the relationship. Remember that relationships are an excellent way to develop a soul infused personality. When everything is rosy, stagnation can set in and partners can become bored, except if they are walking a spiritual path of some description. If there is a problem in your own relationship, look at it as a an opportunity to help each other grow as personalities moving into the arena of the soul. This is an evolutionary step for humanity and not without its difficulties.

If your goals or your ambitions are set too high, your problems will multiply and discontent and discord will be the result instead a peace and harmony. It is far better that your goals be set just a little above where we are now, but within reason­able reach so that you can achieve them without too much tension or worry. Then as you move toward these more reasonable goals, your insights will be lifted and you can move on to still higher goals.

Wise couples fre­quently change their aims for what they need from the relationship. The general prin­ciples can be laid down, of course, but the specific goals should be studied one at a time and if the dynamics in the relationship change for some reason or another, then there must be a corresponding change in the goals. For example, one partner may lose his or her job, which will put a strain on the financial side of the relationship and will necessitate the need to change the immediate goals.

The sixth point for the control of worry is to carefully make a note in your diary of things to do and then study your diary for the day to see if you are utilizing your time efficiently.  If you are a person who stays at home or works from home and you don’t keep a diary, it would be a good idea to start one. Some people waste a lot of time in doing something ineffectively. If you have a lot on your plate, you may have many small problems that contribute to the larger one. If you work out your daily schedule in writing, it will help you to see if you are utilizing your time efficiently. Arrange your schedule in a way so that your day also has periods of rest and relaxation. This allows the body and the mind to rejuvenate so that you can view your work with a fresh eye when you start again.

As the seventh and last point, you should begin to
regularly practice concentration. To concentrate effectively is one of the most important techniques you can learn. A very simple technique is to watch the breath going in and out. When you have mastered that and can watch your breath for a period of approximately five minutes, practice holding your mind vacant and also build up to approximately 5 minutes. If you learn these techniques you can then concentrate upon the solution of your problem by holding your mind in vacant expectation for the answer to come through from your Higher Self. This is contemplative meditation. In this way you are drawing upon an area of help not normally available to you during the hectic hours of the day and you will feel more capable of solving your own problems without the added stress of worry.